My Preschooler Refuses to Potty Train! What Do I Do?

When a preschooler refuses to potty train, she isn’t simply trying and missing or trying every now and again. These children flat out refuse to even contemplate sitting the potty. For some preschoolers, refusing to potty train is a quirk of the toddler and preschool years where stubborn willpower is tested in a variety of situations. In other preschoolers, refusing to potty train may stem from something else entirely.

Wait to Start Potty Training

If your preschooler is refusing to potty train, first consider her age. There is not a magical age for potty training. The developmental time table of your friend’s children has no bearing on the development of your own. Your child might have been an early walker, but that doesn’t mean she should be an early potty trainer.

If your preschooler isn’t showing signs of readiness or even seeming faintly interested in the whole potty training business, just wait for a bit. Put the potty away and try again in a few months, or maybe even a whole year. She’ll probably let you know when she’s really ready.

Be Aware of Situations Preventing Potty Training

If there is something major going on in your child’s life, potty training can be a messy problem to throw in the middle of a muddle. If you’re about to have a new baby, your preschooler may be able to sense the change. The arrival of a new baby, a big trip or a move can all push potty training into the back of everyone’s mind.

It is far better to wait a few extra months to be sure everything has settled into the new normal than to rush and try to potty train your preschooler before the big event comes to pass.

Back Off Potty Training

If your child gave you a few signs she was ready (or you decided it was time) and then your potty training efforts hit a brick wall, you may just need to back off. Some parents consider potty training to be a form of preschool Olympics. They push, award medals and train their children every moment of the day.

There is no race, there is no finish line, and there certainly aren’t any prizes for pushy parents. Your child may be stonewalling you simply because you’re forcing the issue. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. You can sit a child on the potty …

Be Positive about Potty Training

There is temptation, especially when there are more than a few accidents, to critique your preschooler’s potty training performance. Don’t call her a baby because she needs to stay in diapers for a while longer. Don’t tell her she must be slower than her friends because they all use the potty like Big Girls. Simply praise the efforts she has made and move on. There is no need for negativity in any aspect of parenting, and making potty training a negative experience will mostly likely make it a long-term struggle for both of you.

Make Potty Training Fun

Your child may have no negative feelings toward the potty (or you.) She might know exactly what she’s supposed to do. She simply doesn’t care right now. There are so many things in the preschool world that are more exciting than sitting on the potty. If you sense your preschooler isn’t stonewalling or being rebellious, but rather would simply rather play and explore, you just need to make potty training more exciting.

Make it a game and be overly enthusiastic. Be sure to maintain the enthusiasm or your preschooler will lose interest again. Point out bathrooms and let her see other Big Girls using the potty if possible. Talk about the potty on a regular basis like it is the most exciting thing in the world and offer a few incentives without seeming pushy. The objective is to make her curious and interested in the potty on her own rather than forcing the issue which can backfire on you.

Ask Your Pediatrician about Potty Training

Finally, if none of the above solutions seem to fit your scenario, you should visit with your pediatrician. Check to be sure there is no medical condition to be concerned about, and let your doctor know about your potty training concerns. She’s worked with preschoolers this age for years, and will have many suggestions about the best way to tackle the exact problem in your household.

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